Chronic loneliness proven to be as lethal as the equivalent impact of 15 cigarettes a day

Yes, you read that right. It has been proven that chronic loneliness is lethal and if you’ve been cooped up in quarantine during the pandemic, you’ll probably understand why. It is inevitable that as we grow older, some of our old friends will move away while some others will take on family and career commitments. Without action, the feeling of loneliness can grow around you. However, making new friends as an adult is no longer as easy as going to the monkey bars together in school. As an adult, it is much harder to make new friends, which explains why loneliness is at an all-time high. But why are adults struggling to make friends when we are equipped with much better communication skills as compared to kids.

A study revealed that one of the challenges adults faced when making new friends is the lack of trust in someone new and it was noted that women struggled more when it comes to trusting others. This could be because we have to open up and be vulnerable to trust a new friend and as adults, we often have greater self-awareness than children and hence, we’re more aware of judgments and rejections. These concerns are exacerbated with other personal barriers we might face such as introverted personality. 

Another point that was brought up during the study was “Lack of Time”. As adults, we all have obligations towards family and work that may increase with age. Even though we may have met a promising new friend, it could be hard to carve out time to invest in it. Research has roughly estimated that it takes 50 hours of quality time to move from acquaintances to casual friends and more than 200 hours to be close friends. Do we really have the time for this?

Of course, building a new friendship can be kept to as short as 10 minutes of quality time a day. However, when you do get to properly spend time with a new friend, make the most out of it by avoiding all sorts of distractions. Remember, disconnect to connect. Lastly, we should also learn to embrace vulnerability because despite the risks that come along with it, there is also the potential to connect with the new friend on a meaningful level.

For the full story, read more here:
https://www.todayonline.com/commentary/why-do-we-find-making-new-friends-so-hard-adults-1796216